Dating is fun! *hint the sarcasm*

Dating brings on a whole new concept in my life. Dating as an adult is a whole lot dating than dating as a teenager. As a teenager, you are looking for fun and just having a good time. Yeah, the idea of having babies and getting married are usually your ultimate goal, but its still a fantasy that you can only dream of. Even when I was a single teenage mom, dating was still fun. I had no desire on finding a "dad" for my son. I was just having fun.

However dating now is a whole new world for me. First off, since I am a single mom of four kids, I actually have to pick and choose "worthy" candidates. Stuff I would have put up with from guys I dated as a teenager doesn't fly. I'm pretty lenient on a lot of things, but there are some huge deal breakers that I had never even considered before.
The main thing is that I do have four kids. I have met some pretty remarkable men who find everything about me perfect except "the four kids." Its amazing how many people are scared off by children. Mind you, I understand how big of a commitment having four kids really is, as I am raising them alone, but its really not that different than having two, except the noise volume and the laundry. And while I have dated casually since leaving my ex just for fun, those dates seem to break me down in a way. I am looking for a partner, an equal partner.
This guy I'm dating is pretty spectacular. He has a son that he has custody of, so even I will admit that throwing all five children together tends to be hectic at times. But I love it. I love the hustle and bustle of a big "family" and I absolutely love this little boy! Jumping in head first seems to be the only way I will be able to do this, and if it ends up with heartache, then I will just cope I guess. Mind you, I don't trust easily and the fact that I do trust this guy scares me. It usually takes a long time before I'm willing to submit full trust to someone.